I've never been married. My longest relationship was 3 years. That was also my last relationship. Since then, I've tried online dating and it's been one disaster after the other.
As an only child, I've always been independent. But it doesn't mean I want to be single. I'd like to be in a healthy loving long term relationship sooner rather than later. But it's been rough in the digital dating jungle.
Here's the thing. I can be picky when it comes to men.
I'll admit that. And here in southern California, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
So why should I settle for less? I know what I want. While I rather be single than sorry, my relatives can be the worst with their unsolicited advice.
When I was 27, my 23 year old cousin asked why I wasn't married yet. To her, I seemed old. She point blank said she would be married by the time she was my age. She's now 33 and not married.
But her words hurt.
The way she said it was full of judgement and implied something was wrong with me...she often made "only child" jokes. Though I think she was more socially awkward than me.
Last year, my aunt thought she was being helpful by suggesting I be less independent...or at least act like it. She felt that I turned men off by being too ambitious and self-sufficient.
After telling my aunt there was nothing wrong with being independent, she told me she was only trying to "help". Right, so by acting like a damsel in distress is going to attract a good guy?
Has ghosting gotten out of control?
Not too long ago, I was in the midst of moving to a new part of town. A week before the move, the apartment manager ghosted me. Yes, ghosting happens outside of dating too!
Without a lease agreement and no response to my emails and calls, I had to scramble to find a new place to live...in a matter of days. It was nerve wracking to say the least.
I felt completely hopeless and helpless.
Moving by myself made everything feel lonelier too. But all I could do was just keep taking the next step whenever a door closed.
In the end, I was able to secure a place to live in a different apartment complex with much more professional property managers. The location and community was much nicer too!
Sometimes, the Universe has a way to nudging us to where we need to be...
And I hope that is the case when it comes to meeting my future husband. For now, I'll just keep writing about my journey through the Covid Dating Chronicles.
What helped me get up despite feeling at my lowest? I often listen to personal development podcasts, talk it out with friends and just allow myself to cry it out.
I found quotes to be powerful reminders that I'm never alone. I know that I'm going to come out on the other side of challenges that come with being a single gal in her mid-30's. Here are a few of my favorite:
Behind every successful woman is herself.
Stop waiting for love and start living. There are many stories your life is meant to tell. Finding love is just one chapter. - Mandy Hale
I don't need Prince Charming to have my own happy ending. - Katy Perry